“Not every town can or should be saved.”

“‘Indigenous People’s Day’ is a fake holiday created to sow division.”

“If there’s one thing that you should know about me, Washington insiders, they didn’t like me very much. So let’s send them a message by shoving the guy that they hate the most right back in their faces.”

“Can Paul McCartney teach Kid Rock how to be a good songwriter? I mean, that’s a bad example. Kid Rock rules …”

“Why do you guys hate Swiss cheese so much?”

“Are there any pictures where the president isn’t yelling at me?”

"Who’s taking care of your pet cats and/or tarantula while you hate tweet me?"

“We need like a de-Baathification program, a de-woke-ification program.”

“I don’t have any friends in D.C., Mom. They all call me a dick behind my back. But like, right behind my back, so I can hear them.”

“Why are women always checking in on one another when I am talking to them?”