1. “You can’t make this crap up.”

2. “Just remember. It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

3. “You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect.”

4. “If you’re from New York, you know what they did to me.”

5. “I’m one of those people who change.”

6. "It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist."

7. “I’m embarrassed and sorry for having embellished my résumé.”

8. “I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself right back down again.”

9. “I am not a criminal.”

10. “I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.”