“You know, if you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card, you need ID. You go out and you want to buy anything, you need ID and you need your picture.”

“I’d give $10,000 for a glass of lemonade right now.”

“I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds, and she’ll take care of the kids.”

“Just because a woman gets pregnant doesn’t mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD.”

“I promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn’t work.”

“It’s all that fidelity and pledging yourself to a woman garbage. You know, I wine ’em and dine ’em, but I don’t let them tell me what to do.”

“I cheated and I lied. And I whored around.”

“Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.”

“Hanukkah can be spelled so many ways. Oh, God.”

“I’m a patsy. I was set up by the Brits. A group of British builders....”